Wedding vows are incredibly meaningful and powerful, as it is part of a wedding ceremony. We as wedding videographers have witnessed countless numbers of vows in ROM Solemnsiations over the years. We hope to do this article in the hopes of raising the bar for Wedding Vows to be said during your Solemnisation.
Do check out the article on Procedures to Solemnisation.
We also did an article on ROM Solemnisation.
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Ever wondered how to summarise your love, dreams, and promises to your partner all within a few short minutes? Putting all the emotions you feel into words may be overwhelming, but it gives you the chance to share with everyone your love story, giving them an insight into the beautiful moment between you and your loved one.
Guide to writing your Personal Wedding Vows.
Before we proceed on to writing vow samples, here’s a guide on personalising your own wedding vow:
Structure your vow like a story.
You can start off by how you and your spouse met, which is how most couples begin, since not all of your guests will know your story. If you still remember your first impression – be it good or bad – write it down. This makes your wedding vow personal and unique. Quotes are a really good alternative to seek inspiration from when you struggle to find the right words. Perhaps a line from you and your spouse’s favourite movie or TV show together, or that book you both cried reading.
Put your heartfelt emotions into words and deliver them. The main part of your wedding vow is about your spouse. How he/she makes you a better person, and how lucky and grateful you are to be by his/her side. Of course, don’t forget to add in what you love about them. Questions to things about are as follows:
- What do you love about your partner?
- What things has your partner done to make you a better person?
- What bad times and good times have you gone through?
- What are the ugly sides your partner has seen you in?
- What are you grateful for?
- What are your hopes and dreams with your partner.
Last but not least, end off your wedding vow with your promise to your spouse. A good vow does not have to be long, just 10-20 sentences. Instead, say it with your heart and put your emotions into it. You only get to do this once.
Avoid Rhyming Poems
Avoid writing poems. We found that this often leads more to laughter than making it meaningful. Maybe because poems are supposed to be entertaining and smart, hence on an intellectual level, whilst listening to poems, one will find it quirky and funny. This often defeats the purpose of reciting a vow. The meaningfulness is left out of the equation and in fact, it does the opposite. Your vow will be view as a mockery. Audiences will laugh and the Solemniser will probably chirp in with some witty comment like ‘Wow, such a poet’, destroying the whole mood of a ROM Solemnisation. If you’re bent on doing poems, it’ll be a better idea to have it during the banquet’s speech where you can close the wedding with your poem.
This is where you can see samples of wedding vows and quotes to use inside your wedding vows down below. Research on other vows. Simply type in Google and search for “Wedding Vow Sample” and you can start the ball rolling. Try your best not to copy wholesale and use it as inspiration and remix it to your personality. We have seen so many couples trying to recite someone else’s vow and because they didn’t write it in their own words, the pacing and intonations are all wrong.
Be on the same page
What most articles don’t tell you is this, talk to your partner about this. It is important not to give surprises to your other half during your Solemnisation. But don’t get the wrong idea, you’re not supposed to show the vows but discuss on the length and things you might say. We have seen some couples awestruck by their partner’s essay ( 3 pages long). So please discuss at the very least that you’re presenting each other with vows and a rough estimation of the length and content of it.
Avoid Cringy lines and Inside Jokes
There is a fine line on delivering a great vow vs a cringy vow. You will be tempted to have inside jokes planted in your vow. But this is an incredibly bad idea. Your audiences will wonder what you’re saying and disengage from the rest of your vow. Furthermore, YOUR WEDDING VIDEO can’t feature any of these elements which will be pointless to your same-day edit video.
Tell you Solemniser
Another important point that is often left out is the Solemniser/ Justice of Peace on your ROM solemnisation. Do check out our Review of Soleminsers.
This may look like a stupid statement but we have seen some Solemnisers not informed of this decision and carry out the ROM solemnisation excluding your prepared vows in the wedding ROM solemnisation ceremony. You spent time and effort writing your vows and it’s completely dismissed. We had an instance whereby we had to get the wedding couple do a mockup session of vow exchanging after the official solemnisation was conducted just because the Solemniser wasn’t informed.
Edit and re-edit
Remember, your wedding vow should be 2-4 minutes long. It’s going to be a short paragraph at most (10-20 sentences). Vows are very different from love letters. Love letters can be the love essays you want to tell you partner, talking about your love journey, milestones and personal reflections. Vows are commitment sentences. Short, sweet and meaningful is what we’re aiming for.
Practice with your best friend, the mirror
Yes, never underestimate the power of the mirror talking. Practising is a huge element of the exchanging of vows. Unless you’re a master improv comedian, please heed this advice. Your pacing and rhythm is extremely important to convey the tone to your vow. Something important to note is that you should NOT MEMORIZE your vow. If you miss any points of the vow, your whole flow will be thrown off. Furthermore, when you do memorize your vow, it’ll be very hard to be present and make it meaningful.
We have seen in so many Solemnisations that the couple memorize their vows. And as a result, they’re focused on not forgetting the next line instead of being present in the moment. To further top it off, we get the Solemniser telling them ” Good job, he can memorize very well”. For God’s sake, you’re supposed to mean what you say and say what you mean.
What you can do is prepare a written vow on your phone, printed on a paper or written down on a letter. You can hold the script on one hand whilst looking at your partner. From time to time, refer to your script but say it to your partner’s eyes. This is very important to note. It can sometimes go south when you read straight from the script and have no eye contact with your partner. That’s where practising in front of the mirror helps. You’ll be able to pace yourself and glance from time to your script.
Essentially, your wedding vow, traditional or personal, should be short and sweet – up till two minutes is the perfect length, though it might sound short. Here are some samples of Wedding Vows.
There’s nothing wrong with traditional wedding vows, but personal wedding vows can make your wedding a little more magical and intimate.
You can always inject fun and jokes into your vows by using personal anecdotes. Talk about distinct characteristic traits your partner has. Use nicknames. By adding jokes adequately, it not only adds smiles to your guests’ faces, your vows also come with sincerity from the heart.
If your spouse has really strong celebrity crushes, you can also create special vows involving the celebrity’s names and acclaimed works. For instance, Ryan Gosling.
“I’m not Ryan Gosling. But I’ll Drive you around as we begin our journey together. I may not be your First Man but I’ll make sure there’ll be no more Blue Valentine(s) when we’re together. We have this Crazy, Stupid Love and I’ll treasure it our whole lifetime like in The Notebook. I look forward to All Good Things and being in La La Land from today onwards.”
Here are some other examples.
I promise to give you the best of myself.
I promise to trust and respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own.
I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.
I promise to keep myself open to you, encourage your dreams and help shoulder our challenges.
I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
I promise to be your partner and equal in all things.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad- completely and forever.
Traditional Wedding Vows
Here’s what you’ll see a lot of times in weddings, traditional vows. For cases in the Catholic church tradition, you have to abide by their standard vows.
Do check out our list of Catholic Churches in Singapore
Traditional wedding vows might not necessarily mean “boring”. When these traditional vows convey what you want to say, they are powerful and very real. You can always switch these vows up a little by personalising a few words here and there, if you and your partner want to be more creative.
Whether you decide to stick with traditional wedding vows, these classic religious vows are romantic and commonly used.
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”
“______, will you have this woman/man, ______, to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honour her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?”
“I, [name], take you, [name], to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more each day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.”
Your wedding vows need not follow a traditional format if you’re going for a more personalised route. Opting to write your own wedding vows gives you and your partner the liberty to reflect upon your relationship, and not make it seem like someone else’s. Writing wedding vows are definitely not easy, so take the time to sit down and think about what you want to convey.
We do not recommend writing poems but if you do here are some examples.
I love you because you understand, dear
Every single thing I try to do
You are always there to lend a helping hand, dear
I love you most of all because you’re you
No matter what the world may say about me
I know your love will always see me through
I love you for the way you never doubt me
But most of all I love you ’cause you’re you
I love you because my heart is lighter
Every time I’m walking by your side
I love you because the future’s brighter
The door to happiness you opened wide
No matter what the world may say about me
I know your love will always see me through
I love you for a hundred thousand reasons
But most of all I love you ’cause you’re you
I’ll be there, my darling, through thick and through thin
When your mind’s in a mess and your head’s in a spin
When your plane’s been delayed, and you’ve missed the last train.
When life is just threatening to drive you insane
When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page
When somebody tells you, you’re looking your age
When your coffee’s too cool, and your wine is too warm
When the forecast said, “Fine,” but you’re out in a storm
When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum
And your holiday photos show only your thumb
When you park for five minutes in a resident’s bay
And return to discover you’ve been towed away
When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste
Just stick on your hips and don’t reach round you waist
When the food you most like brings you out in the red rashes
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear…
When you break a rule, when you act the fool
When you’ve got the Flu, when you’re in a stew
When you’re last in the queue, don’t feel blue
because I’m telling you, I’ll be there.
As you are the moon of my life, I shall be your sun and stars. Your love shall be as ever present as those two celestial bodies…
Even though they are sometimes hidden form one another’s sight. Your love will be the guiding force that charts the course of your tomorrows, holds your world together in difficult times and will make life itself shine bolder and brighter than we human beings have a right to dream of.
Movies, TV shows and books usually have wonderfully written dialogue with some memorable passages. While adding these lines, it’s also important to edit and tweak accordingly. You don’t want to be reading a whole scripted paragraph or memorise it word-by-word. The vow still has to come from your heart.
‘I love that after I spend a day with you,
I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.
And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.
And it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve.
I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,
You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.’ – WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
‘Make our lives one life,
Day after day, one life.
Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart;
Even death won’t part us now.
Mark of our lives one life,
Day after day, one life.
Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart,
Even death won’t part us now.’ – WEST SIDE STORY
‘I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.’ – THE NOTEBOOK
I want to marry you because you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning,
And the only one I wanna kiss goodnight.
Because the first time I saw those hands,
I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them.’ – DEFINITELY, MAYBE
“I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask to you to marry me, I’ll regret it the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.” – RUNAWAY BRIDE
“People call these things imperfections, but they’re not. Ah, that’s the good stuff. Then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You’re not the perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense. This girl you met? She isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about.” – GOOD WILL HUNTING
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, except for the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.” – ELMO’s FIRE
“When I look at you, I can feel it. I look at you, and I’m home.” – FINDING NEMO
“Maybe it is our imperfections which, make us so perfect for one another.”- EMMA
“I vow to help you love life … and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.” –THE VOW
“I went to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high wire walker. And the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust.”- TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE
“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” – LORD OF THE RINGS
“I would rather have had one breath of her, one kiss from her mouth, and one-touch from her hand… Than eternity without it. “ – CITY OF ANGELS
“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boasting or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It doesn’t take offense and is not resentful.” – A WALK TO REMEMBER
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – UP
“I know that a life without love is no life at all.”- EVER AFTER
“Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you’re gone from my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you.” – A KNIGHT’S TALE
Marriage is not a noun: it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.
Marriage is like music. Both are playing different instruments and different parts, but as long as you’re playing from the same sheet music, you can create something beautiful.
It is not love that keeps us together. In every marriage love may fade, for a time. The vow matters, because when feelings fade, the vow holds us together long enough for the love to return.
As I promise always to be true I promise myself to you.
I promise to hold our love as a love everlasting.
To you, I promise to cherish and share in everything.
Not just for this moment, not for an hour, or day, or year – I will always love you.
I vow to need you – to say goodnight, to kiss me on the eyelids, to have and adore even when you feel down. At any time, in any place I want only to be by your side.
Love is give and take, I give all my love to you and receive so much love in return.
I promise that my love for you will be an ever flowing spring, never diminished and always sweet and life-giving.
I vow to love all of you. Even the Snoring you included.
You’re not an option. You’re my priority.
For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.
I vow to be patient, to be honest, to be everything that demands of a partner. To share our lives until the end of time with humility, grace, and love.
I promise you my unconditional love, tenderness, and undying devotion, to not ask you to be more than you are, and to love you for being you.
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
I choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I will find you and I still choose you
You are the love of my life and make me the happiest woman on earth. Happier than I could ever have imagined. And I feel blessed to start our lives together.
You are my light, my inspiration, and I am blessed to be able to call you my ever-loving wife.
I take you as my husband, and pledge a vow of honesty and fidelity. It is one I give willingly, easily, gracefully, at this moment and for our whole lives.
Live with me, laugh with me, love with me, and I will be your devoted wife forevermore.